disc Proclaimed Sanctuary SKRaTCHED!
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Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Mood:Ajitated
Topic: Comment box
S.O.C.:"Love me not" by Papa Roach

::sigh:: look people I don't ask for anyone to condone how I feel or to sympathisiz with it or to give me permission to have it or to even very well understand it all right. I'm not asking for help from anyone okay. So this quarrelling in the comment box I will not have this. Yes Lauren's statement bothered me but it is founded in truth so shall it be. Jonnell speaks up for me because she has to see me everyday trying to figure things out. I always defend Jonnell that was her trying to return the favor. Jonnell I thank you for your concern but Lum is nursing some wounds and they are deep and reopening wounds...neither justification nor excuse simply information.

::the tone of the following paragraph is not mean or grouchie it is simply a statement.::
Lum none of us are strangers to death young old your right but the worst is young and iminent death I know about that too. Grief is grief on whatever level and at times a softer tone is in order. I too have seen people break for trivial matters this you could say is one of them but with you and me it's different you see if I had the desire to call you or something it wouldn't be an issue because I'm female...Daniel will have quiet the time talking to me because of my father--I get to talk to Jun for 10 minutes if at all when he calls--with Peter no different in fact Peter has heard my father deman I get off the phone. Gender is an issue--also life college lack of transportation...comparing a thousand to 200 miles isn't good either---but as I stated in the beginning Lum speaks with truth

But as I said before I expect no one to understand let alone give a freaking damn...but none of this quarelling please I beg of you I have too much on my mind (not just Danny for those so quick to jump to conclusions) to straighten these things out. I carry my burdens alone more than I should, I put others above me and that's not always good, and most terrible I put my happiness aside for others. And your right no one tells me to no one asks me to but I do because I love these people. I simply ask that once in a while I be allowed to express my exhaustion and sadness or am I not allowed even to do this? Shall I keep it all locked away always?

Please all I ask is...allow me to feel and express my emotions no matter how trivial they are to you they mean something to me...this is my small space...so I beg of you...not to understand just to accept how I feel...

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